Memories
by ff345
Summary: Late at night, with the company of each other and a bottle of gin, Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney Todd recall the past, and the history of their relationship. Barker/Lovett
1. Chapter 1

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**_Memories_**

* * *

Mrs. Lovett looked across the table into the frowning face of the man she loved. It was one of the rare occasions she'd managed to get him downstairs with her, and she sat across the table from him, a glass of gin in front of each of them and the bottle in between.

Her chin was propped up on her hand as she stared at him, her eyes deep with pity for the dark face she saw before her, so aged with what the world had done to him, every crease on his forehead telling a different story. But then, she supposed she wasn't exactly the vibrant young thing she used to be either.

He stared down into his drink with un-seeing eyes and she sighed. Who'd have seen them here, back all those years before. Who'd have predicted that this would be how they would end up?

She watched as he downed his shot in one and poured himself another one, not bothering this time, to measure out a small amount, instead letting the clear liquid fill the glass to the brim.

"Careful love," she told him softly, "you know you never did 'ave much of an 'ead for the strong stuff."

His eyes flicked up to hers sharply, annoyed. "I think I know how much drink I can handle Mrs. Lovett." He told her shortly, knocking back another mouthful.

The baker rolled her eyes, taking her own sip from her glass. "I'm sure you do dear," she assured him, a small smile coming to her lips as she recalled a time he definitely didn't know how much drink he could handle…

--

Mr. Barker had been drunk.

Oh, he'd been very, very drunk, and she'd taken advantage. The young Mrs. Lovett knew that, and she admitted quite readily it to herself. She wasn't really ashamed of it either. In fact she'd be lying if she didn't say she wasn't ashamed at all, she was actually pretty proud of herself; she'd have been a fool _not_ to have taken advantage of a situation she would probably never be presented with again.

He'd hammered on her shop door relentlessly and stumbled inside when she'd finally seen who it was and opened it to him. Quickly realising her tenant was quite inebriated, Mrs. Lovett had sat him down and pushed a glass of water into his hands. She had tried to get some sense out of him, but could only gather, more by guess work, that he'd been at the pub with some of his friends and…here they were. She'd reminded him that he actually lived above but he'd mumbled something about stairs all being against him and she'd stifled a laugh.

It was cold in her shop, so she'd led him through to her parlour, sitting him down in front of the fire where the last embers still glowed warm. In all honestly she did at that point have every intention of letting him sober a little and then returning him to his wife upstairs where he belonged…but it seemed the night had had it's own plans.

She'd sat next to him and chattered at him a bit, chiding him lightly for drinking so much when he knew he'd never been any good at holding his alcohol. He'd just laid his head back against the chair and grinned at her.

There was a moment of quiet and she bit her lip, her eyes flicking down to his mouth as she shifted subtly closer to him. She could lean forward, and kiss him now and he wouldn't be any the wiser tomorrow. He might even kiss her back, he was so out of it. He looked up and caught her eye and smiled a lopsided grin at her and she couldn't have stopped herself even if she'd wanted to.

He did indeed kiss her back, with ardent and passion so fierce it near knocked the wind out of her.

Still at that point, she'd intended on taking him back to his wife that night…but all her practicality flew out of her head when he pushed her back to the chair, his hands sliding up her bodice and she didn't _care_ about anything anymore. Not his wife asleep upstairs, nor her husband asleep in their bedroom, nor the fact that he was drunk out of his head.

Yes, she'd taken advantage of him, and she found it pretty amusing when he couldn't apologise enough in the morning for what they'd done. She'd accepted his apologies with a grave nod, avoiding his eyes in hope that he wouldn't catch the amusement there, and assuring him it had been as much her fault as his and yes of course she'd never breathe a word of it to anybody and there was no harm done.

He'd avoided her for weeks, not going anywhere near her shop and pointedly ducking his head and hurrying past whenever they happened to cross paths.

She did felt a little guilty. She bet he was beating himself up over betraying his wife. But the fact that he _had_ betrayed his wonderful, sweet, virtuous wife whom he adored with every fibre of his being – was _more _than enough to make up for it.

--

"Can I ask you something Mr. T?" Mrs. Lovett asked the barber quietly. He'd been back living with her for a couple of months now, but she was still wary of the dark man; there was scarcely a trace of the man she used to know left and she didn't quite know this one completely yet.

"What?" He replied, sounding as if he didn't really care.

"Don't get upset now I just…I just wanna know something…"

He took a sip from his glass, grimacing slightly at the taste. "What."

"Do you remember that night…_before_ I mean…when you came to me shop after you'd 'ad too much to drink? And we…well we um…you know…"

He could have frozen a little, or she could have imagined it.

He was silent for a long time and she was almost about to give up on getting an answer from him when he spoke. "No, I don't remember it."

"…Oh."

He sighed. "I remember that it happened, yes, if that's what you're asking. I don't know how you could think I'd forget something like that. But I don't remember it actually happening; in case you don't recall, I was incoherently drunk."

"Oh no I know that, I, well it's just…"

"Mrs. Lovett is there a reason for your brining up something which happened over fifteen years ago?" He demanded, sounding annoyed.

She looked up, letting her eyes catch his almost shyly. "Well I just wanted to know…why did you seep with me that night? Was you just drunk?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You know I was drunk."

"…Yes."

"Why did _you_ sleep with me? _You_ weren't drunk." He accused.

She looked down. "No, I weren't," she agreed quietly, tracing the rim of her glass with her finger. "Just lonely…and –"

"What?" He prompted when she didn't continue.

Still looking at her glass instead of him she shook her head. She'd been going to say 'in love' but had luckily managed to stop herself in time. She shrugged. "Bored I guess. Lonely and bored…weren't thinking straight. Can't 'ave been thinking at all."

Sweeney downed another gulp in reply.

"So was that it?" She asked, looking up at him again.

He frowned. "Was what what?"

"The reason. Just 'cause you were drunk?"

He sighed hard. "Yes. That and the obvious."

Her brow furrowed and she cocked her head to the side, peering at him intently. "The obvious?"

Sweeney fixed her with a look. "Come on now, you know you were a very attractive woman Mrs. Lovett. And…Lucy…" he spoke the name a little choked, "was so…so…_tense_ all the time. She was so proper – not that that was a bad thing…but a man has needs you know that…and you were just there and with the drink I wasn't thinking straight and you…well you were so…"

She raised an eyebrow. "Easy?"

"Yes – _no _- no I don't mean that –"

"Yes you do. S'alright it's true."

He shook his head, "it isn't." He mumbled.

"Yes it is, you know it is. After all," she continued, raising her glass to her lips, "not like it was the first time we ever did it, was it?"

"No," he agreed, looking down into his glass as she took a drink from her own. "It wasn't."

* * *

_Hey guys :) This is a little idea that popped into my head, and I kinda like how it came out :) If people like it, I'll continue. It's going to be a sort of flashback Barker/Lovett story (hence memories lol) I don't think it will be very long or particularly involved, and it will probably stay at a T-rating. It's just something a little lighter for me to write in between Deception, since I find that easier to write if it's not the only thing I'm focusing on funnily enough lol. _

_I don't know if it's going to be Sweenett yet, or AU or not…I might well keep it so it could have happened within the movie - I will just have to see what happens but I have some ideas for it. Thoughts and opinions are, as always, greatly appreciated! :)_

_F.F x_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hell my dears, wow thank you so so much for all the reviews, faves and alerts, I was completely blown away! I'm so excited about this one now people like the idea! XD Yay! I love you guys!! ^_^_

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Sweeney sighed as he took another drink. Mrs. Lovett had set him thinking, and sent him somewhere he spent a lot of his time anyway; the past. It was however, an earlier past to the one he usually thought back to that he remembered now.

They'd got on well, he remembered, him and the baker he sat across the table from now. They'd been quite good friends in fact, a long time ago. It was funny how things turned out.

He snuck a glance at the woman in front of him, and it struck him how much she'd changed – and yet, how much she was still the same. He'd never really noticed before – or paid it much attention.

The young Nellie Lovett – or Nellie Jones as she had been in those days – had been a feisty little thing. She was also as cockney as they came and had had more male friends than female – but Benjamin had liked her. She was easy to talk to, unlike most girls her age - and she was pretty too, yes - but it hadn't made him feel awkward in her presence like he found it usually did.

Yes, he had liked the young baker, he'd liked her a lot.

He was twenty-one and she was nineteen when they first met. She was running her father's bakery at the time; she wasn't supposed to be, but her father was a useless drunk, and spent every night at the pub and every day sleeping it off. So he supposed she didn't have much of a choice. She didn't seem to mind, although she complained to high heaven about it he could tell she enjoyed the baking really, and she always seemed perfectly content behind the shop counter with people to chatter at all day.

That was how he met her, he was a customer, and when the two found they had much in common he quickly became a regular.

He glanced up at the older version of his memories, and he noticed a small smile on her lips as she stared absently at the glass in front of her.

"We got on well didn't we?" She spoke. "Back in the old days."

He gaped a moment, and restrained himself from asking her if she'd been reading mind, instead managing a grunt in reply.

"Back before…." She continued. "Before yer wife an' everything."

"…Yes. We did."

"Remember 'ow you'd come by me shop before work every morning?"

He frowned at the glass he held up before him. "It was on my way."

She smirked at him. "And Wednesdays, on yer day off. You'd come and sit in there for 'ours. Couldn't get rid o' ya."

The barber rolled his eyes but a very small smile came to his lips. "You used to be very irritable."

She raised her eyebrows, clearly surprised at his taking part in the conversation but she didn't comment. "And you used to be very irritating!" She smiled and took another sip of her drink. "And anyway. You'd 'ave been irritable too if you 'ad to put up with the drunken layabout that me father was."

"Hmm. Charming gentleman."

She snorted. "He hated you, ya know. Couldn't stand ya. Probably 'cause ya told 'im straight one time what ya thought of 'im for carrying on the way 'e did, d'you remember?"

"Of course I remember." He said gruffly. "He nearly knocked me out."

She gave a little gasp. "Oh yeah! I forgot about that – 'e swung at you didn't 'e." She shook her head, swirling the gin in her glass before taking another sip. "'Orrible blighter 'e was."

Sweeney sighed as he took another drink himself.

No, he decided, she hadn't really changed all that much. Just…changed towards him maybe. He supposed he didn't blame her, he was hardly the same man who she used to know so well, why would she treat him the same as she used to? But he had to admit that it was before he went away that she changed towards him really – and he to her. It hadn't been proper, once he were married and she found a husband too, for them to carry on as they had been. They'd grown apart, and rightly so.

But yes, before all that…before Lucy and Albert and him moving in as her tenant…they _had_ been good friends, and he certainly had liked the young baker.

--

"Ah good morning Miss. Jones!" The barber's apprentice greeted her grandly as he entered the little bakery.

She snorted form her place behind the counter with a piece of dough in front of her. "Good mornin' yerself Mr. Barker, I been up since the crack o' dawn baking these bloody rolls, there ain't nothing good about my morning." She grumbled.

He grinned at her as he came to stand before the counter. "You know what you should try some time Nel?"

She raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"

"Smiling. You might find it agrees with you."

"Oh shut up," she shot back. "Cheeky bastard."

He gasped in mock shock. "Do you speak to all your customers like that? No wonder it's so empty in here!"

She glared at him although she couldn't keep the smile off her lips. "I'm gonna hit you."

He snorted. "I'd like to see you try."

The door tingled as it opened and the young baker groaned as her father strode into the shop.

"Oh bloody 'ell 'ere comes Mr. 'appy…" She muttered to Benjamin under her breath.

"What's that bloody smell Nellie – you burn the damn buns again girl!?" Her father demanded.

"No I 'aven't sir." She snapped back. "Obviously yer drinking's messing with yer sense o' smell."

He stood up straighter – or at least tried to, having to grip the counter to keep from swaying – and pointed a finger at her. "I'll not 'ave any of your damn cheek missy - or you'll be out on yer ear! You 'ear me?"

"Loud an' clear sir."

Her father made his wobbly way to the back rooms, probably to sleep the drink off as was his custom, muttering darkly under his breath.

"Yeah sure you'll do that, cause then you'll 'ave to actually get off yer lazy arse an' bake the bloody food yerself wouldn't you?" She grumbled irritably as she laid into a piece of dough with her rolling pin. "Bloody," she whacked the dough, "drunken," another whack, "old," whack, "bastard!" She gave the tortured dough a final whack and Benjamin laughed at her.

"Come on Nellie, cheer up. You need to match those cakes you're selling." He quipped, nodding to the pretty yellow iced cupcakes on her counter.

"You can shove one of those bloody cakes where the sun don't shine Mr. B." She bristled, not in the least amused by his jokes.

Used to her sass, he rolled his eyes and leant past her, plucking one of the little yellow cakes from the platter to pop it into his mouth.

"And you can pay for that an' all," she told him tartly.

"How about I buy you a drink and we call it even?"

She glared at him but her expression was teasing. "When?"

"When you're finished tonight?"

"Alright. Me father's out again so you might as well come over 'ere – you can bring a bottle."

He raised his eyebrows as she grinned at him. "I said I'd buy you a drink – I hardly think one measly cupcake amounts to the same as a whole bottle."

The young baker placed her hands on her hips in mock affront. "Are you insultin' me cupcakes!?"

"Of course not pet. It was the loveliest cupcake I've ever had."

"Yeah, yeah and you can take that tone somewhere else. Go on now I got bread to make."

He placed a hand to his heart, wounded. "Nice to know I'm welcome."

"You'll be welcome later when I've 'ad a chance to recover from this encounter. Now go on, off with you. 'Aven't you got a job?"

He flashed her a dazzling grin and tipped his hat to her. "Indeed I have. I'll see you later then."

"Yeah an' that'll be too soon," she replied but her tone was teasing, and she shot a smile back at him before he turned and left her little shop.

--

"I killed 'im ya know."

Sweeney lifted his eyes from his glass to frown up at Mrs. Lovett, as her voice dragged him from his memories. "Who?"

"Me father."

His lips parted slightly as he stared at her and he was silent so she took that as an invitation to continue.

She sighed, pouring herself out another shot. "'E came at me one night, drunk out 'is mind as usual. It wouldn't 'ave been the first time 'e'd 'ave beat me while 'e were under the influence but I'd 'ad enough. I grabbed a vase off the side and bashed 'im over the 'ead with it. Didn't stop 'til 'e was dead."

It was a moment before Sweeney spoke. He tried to remain sounding uninterested, but he couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice. "You said the shop was broken into and he was killed in a struggle."

"Yeah. I did."

The barber frowned deeply and was quiet for a long moment before he spoke again. "Why didn't you tell me the truth?"

She sighed. "'Cause you wouldn't 'ave understood. Not back then."

_And now I do_. Yes, she was right in assuming so.

He raised his glass to his lips and took a sip, grimacing at it's burn as the liquid slid down his throat. He stared thoughtfully into his drink.

"I'm glad you killed him."

* * *

_Well I really hope you all enjoyed this second chapter, because I'm having an awful lot of fun writing this one :) I've never given much thought to their past before, so I'm finding it really interesting to imagine how they would have been all those years before everything happened. _

_Please please let me know what you thought of this second chapter, reviews make me too happy to describe! XD_

_X x_

_Replies to un-signed in reviews:_

_Thyme – Thanks so much love, so glad you enjoyed the first chap and it's good to know you have faith in me lol! Yes you're right I've written more than enough Sweenett stories already haha, but I think I'll just wait and see where this one goes for a bit :) –hugs-_

_Tengel – Yay for catching this at the start hehe! XD I'm glad you liked it so far love, thank you for the review! :) –hugs-_

_NelliethePieAngel – I'm glad you're loving it so far love! Ooh I like the idea, I think I'm gonna let this write itself for a bit and see if it decides how it's gonna turn out on its own lol :) Thank you so much for the review hun! –hugs-_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey loves, sorry for the wait on this third chap, I was going to post this Friday but then I didn't have any internet until this evening lol. Hope you all enjoy the chap, bit of a longer one this time :)_

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A peaceful silence hung briefly over the little table in a darkened corner of Mrs. Lovett's shop, the two occupying it lit only by a single candle.

Thoughts of her father weren't particularly ones the baker wanted to recall, but they did come with ones of happier times with the barber she'd come to love. Times when he and she were friends, and life was so simple. How lovely it had been, to be so young and free.

A particular event came to mind and a smile to her lips along with it. She glanced up at her tenant. "Do you remember when me father caught us together?" She asked Sweeney quietly. "Remember 'ow furious 'e was?"

The tiniest smiles of amusement came to the barber's own face. "Yes. He demanded I marry you." He shook his head, that amused look still on his face as if the idea was ludicrous. To him, she supposed, it was. But then - she'd found the idea just as ridiculous at the time too; they'd had a good laugh about it if she remembered rightly.

Ironic it was, that just a few weeks after that as it must have been, she realised that nothing in fact would make her happier. Even more ironic was it that_ she_ was the one who had made it impossible for that to ever happen.

She didn't know if there was anybody watching above, but she knew that if there were, someone up there was surely laughing at her.

--

"Penny for yer thoughts?"

The young barber looked up at his friend standing before him. He gave her a smile that was full of troubles and didn't reach his eyes.

"Lemme guess," she continued, sitting herself down opposite him in the booth he was occupying and propping her chin up on her hand. "That girl again right?"

Another troubled, if slightly sheepish smile, and a nod of his head.

"I don't know why you don't just tell 'er you like 'er. Ask 'er out to dinner or something. 'Eaven knows it might keep you form emptying this place o' customers wi' that gloomy face o' yours."

"But –" he looked utterly distressed by the idea – "what would I say to her!? And – and what if she says no…"

She suppressed a laugh. "Well then – she says no an' you'll 'ave yer answer won't ya." She couldn't hold back the laugh at the panicked look in his eyes this time. "Oh Mr. B you are utterly 'opeless. It's a wonder you ever 'ave any luck wi' the ladies at all."

He shook his head. "Lucy's different. I find myself helpless around her – I wouldn't even know how to start a conversation with her."

She was quiet for a long, thoughtful moment before she nudged his arm. "I'll tell ya what love - buy 'er some flowers. Girls love flowers. Some lovely little roses should do the job – tell 'er they reminded you of 'er, being so pretty an' all. I tell you she won't be able to resist and it's sure to get the two of you talking."

He looked up at her. "…Flowers?"

She nodded. "Make sure ya flatter 'er plenty, then you can tell 'er nothing would make you 'appier than 'er allowing you to take 'er to dinner some time." She flashed a grin at him. "It'll work like a charm!"

The barber looked thoughtful for a moment before he sighed and shook his head. "I can't. I just…" another sigh. "You're right Nel, I _am_ hopeless."

She sighed heavily herself and watched him quietly for a moment. "Look do you want me to talk to 'er for ya?"

He looked up at her with wide eyes. "No! Don't you dare Nellie, I know you! Heaven knows what you'd say to her - she'd never come near me after that."

She laughed. "Oh come on – gimme a bit o' credit. I can be very tactful when I wanna be."

He smiled but shook his head. "No, I – appreciate it but…I'd rather you didn't. I'll figure it out."

Another sigh. "Well I sure as 'ell 'ope you 'figure it out' soon, yer driving me bloomin' bonkers lately love."

"It's not my fault," he grumbled.

She chuckled at him and rolled her eyes. "I best get back to work now but I'll tell you what, come over later alright? I'll bet I can cheer ya up a bit." She shot a wink at him and he couldn't stop himself from returning her smile.

--

It had turned out he_ did _take her advice exactly – he'd bought Lucy pretty pink roses and flattered her to death – and just like she'd told him, it had worked like a charm and she'd happily accepted his invitation to dinner. The rest was history.

Mrs. Lovett knew very well that if she hadn't nagged and nagged at him, hadn't told him if he didn't talk to her soon then she bloody well would – that he would never have got up the courage to do so. At one point he'd told her he believed the beautiful blonde was too out of his league, and should probably save himself the embarrassment and just try and forget about her but she wouldn't have it.

"_Fancy thinking such a thing Ben, honestly! She's only the daughter of a tailor an' you'll 'ave yer own business one day soon you know it – and if yer on about 'er being so pretty then I tell you, she's certainly no more pretty than you are 'andsome. You better bloody well talk to 'er soon – or I'm marching over there meself!" _

Mrs. Lovett looked glumly into her glass of gin. If only she had left him to his own devices. If only she'd bloody well figured out her own feelings for him sooner. If only...

And the timing had been cruel. Stupidly, painfully cruel.

See, it most certainly hadn't been love at first sight. Lust at first sight maybe; he was possibly the most strikingly handsome man she'd ever laid eyes on and her first glimpse of him rendered her nearly speechless. But it hadn't been love at first, no - he'd been a dreadfully cheerful bastard, and it had irritated the hell out of her.

Indeed he had annoyed her quite a bit at first, but as she got to know him better she'd found his company increasingly enjoyable, and the two had formed an easy friendship. That wasn't to say he didn't still get on her nerves a fair bit, just that she learnt to tolerate it, just like he learnt to tolerate her insistent chatter.

No, she knew the exact moment she fell in love with him, the moment she realised with such a shock it nearly made her gasp, that nothing in the world would make her happier than spending her life with this man.

She'd lain, not for the first time, next to him in her bed, and nothing had been any different. But then…he'd leant over, smiled down at her, and brushed a curl from her face. And that was when it had happened. Her heart lurched in her chest and her whole world spun and then went very, very clear.

She loved him. In that instant. That was all it took…and she was in love with him. She didn't know why, or how…it just was.

Her memories continued of their own will onto the scene that took place after, and although it wasn't one she _wanted_ to recall, her mind seemed to have it's own ideas.

--

"Ben," Nellie Jones breathed to the man laying next to her, her heart hammering in her chest with the force of what she'd just realised.

"Hmm?"

"Ben, I…I need to tell you something…"

He turned his head on the pillow to look at her and her wide eyes caught his own. Her heart pounded faster. "What?"

"I…I think…"

"What is it Nel? You know you – oh shit what time is it!? Shit!" He cursed, catching sight of the clock. "It's nearly seven I have to go, I'm sorry Nel, I –" He paused a moment and a brilliant smile came over his face. "I didn't tell you…I asked Lucy out to dinner!"

It was lucky he was so distracted with getting dressed because she couldn't reply. She couldn't talk. Couldn't move – she couldn't even breathe for several moments.

"I asked her just like you told me – walked right up to her and spoke to her –" he was gushing but she was scarcely listening. Her hand clutched at her chest.

"Nellie??"

She realised he'd said something and was waiting for a reply and she gasped in a gulp of air, trying to get control of herself enough to breathe let alone form a reply.

He paused in pulling his shoes on. "Nel are you alright?"

"Ye – yes I –" to her horror, tears stung in her eyes and painful lump clogged her throat. "I – I think I left some cakes in the oven downstairs – it - I – I gotta go –"

She flew from the bed, seized her robe and yanked it on, throwing the door open and making it out of the room just as the tears started to blur her vision and track down her cheeks.

"Bye then I – I'll tell you how it goes tomorrow!" She heard Benjamin call out but she couldn't answer. She couldn't say a thing to him when his words felt like a thousand daggers plunged into her heart.

--

Tomorrow had been even worse. She'd spent the whole night telling herself she was being stupid, _stupid – _of course she didn't _love_ Ben he was…well, he was _Ben!_

But she'd known it was true as soon as she saw him again the next day. He'd burst into her shop, glowing with happiness, and she'd had to force smiles and exclamations of joy for her friend as he described his evening in detail to her.

"_You were right Nellie, I think she is perfect for me," _he'd told her, and then he'd leant over and pressed a kiss to her head before he left, thanking her and telling her he didn't know what he'd do without her.

That had been one of the worst days of her life.

She snuck a glance at the man sitting opposite her and sighed hard. She supposed it must be pretty damn pathetic that she sat here nearly twenty years later and still found the memory painful. And it was also probably quite pathetic that after all these years, she still had those feelings for him.

She knocked back the rest of her glass. No. She wasn't going to let herself go there again. What had happened had happened - she supposed it was just something she would never really get over.

To distract herself from old painful thoughts, she lifted her eyes to Sweeney, going for the bottle in between them again. She was a little surprised when she noticed his expression.

"What are you smiling at Mr. T?" She asked curiously as she poured herself another glass.

He cleared his throat and pasted a frown onto his face. "I'm not."

Despite his claim he had, in fact (much to his surprise) been smiling. He was smiling at the memory his partner-in-crime had brought back, another one that sprang to his mind as clear as day, along with the feelings and emotions it had brought at the time. They had been good ones.

He didn't know why these memories had been forgotten, swept to a dusty corner in the back of his mind, but he supposed he had too many to struggle to keep hold of for those dark fifteen years, certain ones had to take priority.

This particular was an amusing one. He certainly did remember when her father had walked in on the two of them now she'd mentioned it, he was surprised he'd forgotten such a thing before.

He'd been positively mortified but it_ had_ been pretty funny. She'd nearly killed herself laughing when her father had stormed from the room, outraged and disgusted, and the barbers frantic insistences that it was no laughing matter had only made tears pour from her eyes until he too, was unable to stop himself joining in.

How nice it had been, to be so young and carefree. He'd forgotten what it was like and how he had felt in those times. He'd been happy.

"So come on then," her soft voice broke him from his thoughts. "You gonna share the joke?"

He sighed, and took another drink. "No joke. Just…memories."

"Ah. Good ones I take it?"

A small wistful smile. "Amusing ones." He shook his head. "Just that day – when your father caught us." He reminded her.

"Oh yeah." She smiled a little. "It was pretty funny weren't it?"

"At the time." He shook his head. "We were foolish."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Foolish? – Well – yes, I suppose we were a little." She snorted, "oh 'e weren't 'appy I tell ya. Ah well – it was worth it weren't it?"

"What was?"

"Well you know, us I mean."

She shot a wink at him but he fixed her with a look over the rim of his glass as he took another sip and he shook his head, feeling the liquid burn it's way down his throat. "No. You know we should never have started that Nel."

They both froze.

After staring at each other for a long moment of silence, Mrs. Lovett spoke. "Wha – what did you call me?" She whispered.

Sweeney was mortified. How the _bloody hell _had that slipped out!? What the hell -!? He hadn't called her by her first name in years - let alone a _nickname_!

"I –" He stared at her, horrified. "I was just thinking of the old days I guess it…I…"

A slow smile came to the bakers face. "Slipped out?"

He stared at her and she leant over and patted his hand with a smile.

He quickly pulled it away.

Mrs. Lovett drew her own hand back and looked down at it as she fiddled with her glass. "You really think that though?"

"Think what?"

"That we should never 'ave started…that…?"

He shifted in his seat, uncomfortable. "You know we shouldn't have. It wasn't right…both of us unmarried…"

Her eyes dropped. "Yeah. Suppose. Still…we _did_ start it and…no 'arm done 'ey?"

"We?" He quirked an eyebrow. "If I remember rightly it was _you_ who started it."

She turned a little red at that, although it was mostly from trying not to laugh rather than embarrassment. "I s'pose it was."

Another look, "I _know _it was."

Mrs. Lovett laughed a little and there was another small silence. This must be the closest they'd had to a normal conversation since he'd been back – and she liked it. He was almost talking to her as if they were…friends again.

After a moment she couldn't resist shooting a slightly shy smile at him from under her lashes. "Do you remember the night it started?"

Sweeney hastily downed another shot, swallowing it so hard it made his eyes water. "Yes. How could I forget?"

* * *

_I really hope you all enjoyed this third chapter, and sorry again that it took so long lol, I will try to update this more regularly :) Huge huge thanks for all the reviews, faves and alerts - you've no idea how happy it makes me to know people are enjoying what I write! ^_^_

_X x x_

_Replies to un-signed in reviews:_

_Jamie – Aw well I'm so happy to hear that hun – your reviews make me happy hehe XD Thank you so much love! –hugs-_


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello dears. I'm /so/ sorry this chapter took so long :( That's all I can say really…I'm sorry, and I hope you enjoy it :)_

* * *

Mrs. Lovett had to hide a smile from the man sitting across the little table from her. It certainly wasn't a night she'd forgotten either.

She really didn't know why she'd suddenly decided one evening that it was time she and the young Mr. Barker got to know each other better - but she supposed she must have just got tired of _imagining _what it would be like with her strikingly handsome friend and decided it was time she found out. Nellie Lovett wasn't a shy woman and little Nellie Jones certainly hadn't been any different. Benjamin, she remembered quite clearly with a smile of amusement, had certainly not been quite so forward as her…

--

Nellie Jones sat, legs curled up underneath her, in the armchair across from Benjamin. Her friend had gladly accepted her invitation to keep her company since she was alone in the house again for the night, and the two had been conversing easily for some time.

The baker leant down to place her empty teacup on the floor and motioned towards his own. "Drink that up love, it's about time we moved onto the stronger stuff don't you think?"

Benjamin grinned back at her and took another sip of his tea. "Nellie, according to you, it's always time to move onto the strong stuff."

She laughed a little. "Mmm true. There ain't nothing a good strong gin won't cure, you know that?"

The smile faded from his face at that. "What is it this time?" He asked her quietly.

She waved a hand dismissively. "Same old. Just gets to me sometimes. Anyway like I said, nothing a drink won't cure! You done with that yet?"

Rolling his eyes, he drained his cup and set it down, getting to his feet to cross the room to the cupboard in the corner. He poured out two glasses and made his way back to his friend, handing her one before sitting down with his own.

"You're a dear," she grinned at him.

They'd been drinking in companionable silence for a few minutes when the young baker spoke.

"Can I ask ya something Mr. B?" They were long past formalities, but the nickname was a habit.

He glanced up at her. "Yes?"

She was silent a moment, her eyes narrowed, thoughtful as she looked into her glass before she glanced up at him, her eyes catching his own. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

He chuckled at her. "You know you're pretty Nel."

"Do you think I'm attractive?"

Looking at her a little strangely, he nodded. "Yes. You are."

She bit her lip a little before asking her next question. "Would you sleep with me?"

He blinked at her. "Um…" his brow furrowed. "…What?"

"You think I'm attractive so…would you sleep with me?"

"Uh…you - you're…my friend Nellie…"

She shrugged. "So? I'm still a girl. Don't tell me you never thought about us…you know?" She smirked at him. "I 'ave."

The poor young barber looked bewildered. "Nellie…I – you're my _friend, _we…I don't – I -"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh calm down Ben I ain't confessing me love to you or anything. Just that well, to put it plainly…" her eyes locked with his, "I'd let you do me." She gave him a little smirk. "- if you wanted to, that is."

He gaped at her.

"So…" she prompted after a moment of his stunned silence. "What do you say?"

His eyebrows shot up as he realised just what she was offering. "Nel I…" he shook his head, his mouth open. "I just couldn't…couldn't compromise you like that I…"

She laughed at him and rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yerself love you won't be me first."

He stared at her, shock evident on his face although a smile was creeping it's way onto his lips. "Is that so?"

She nodded. "So come on then, 'ow 'bout it?" He remained silent and her eyes widened as a possible reason for his reluctance occurred to her – "unless…you've never…?"

"What? N – no," he stammered, "of course I have don't be ridiculous."

She smirked at him, standing up to saunter over to him where he was sat. "Well then," she said, placing her hands on his shoulders before lowering herself to straddle his lap. She leant in close to him, letting her lips hover just inches from his, licking her own in anticipation. She felt his hands tentatively edge up to rest on her waist and she grinned at him, and covered his mouth with her own.

Their first kiss was a slightly awkward press of their lips together and she pulled her head back after a few seconds to giggle softly.

"What's funny?"

"Us." She grinned at him then leant forwards to breathe in his ear, "maybe this will help…"

She sat up on his lap and he watched her fiddle quickly at her back and when her hands moved to her shoulders she pulled her dress off them, letting it drop to pool at her waist. A few more tugs and the corset she was wearing was yanked from round her body and tossed it to the floor.

She shifted herself on his lap, smiling at the way his eyes grew wide as they took in the sight of her bare torso, and she leant forwards to once more press her lips to his.

Their second kiss was much better. She opened her mouth against his and he kissed her back hungrily, his hands coming back up to rest lightly, hesitantly on her waist.

"Nellie," he muttered against her mouth after a moment, forcing himself to pull his head back enough to talk. "We shouldn't…"

"Why not?" She purred, kissing him again.

"You – your father…"

"'E's out…"

"He could come back…" he tried weakly, trying not to look at those enticing plump lips (and definitely not letting himself drop his eyes further…)

She shook her head, giggling a little, "'e won't," she whispered, placing another kiss on his lips.

He forced himself to pull back once more. "Nel we really –"

"Don't you want me?" She sat back a little to look at him, hurt in her eyes and pretty pout on her lips and –

"Yes," he blurted out before he could stop himself. "Yes, I do…"

The pout gave way to a grin and she leant quickly in again to whisper in his ear, "I've wanted you for so long love…"

Benjamin moved away from another kiss - "It – we – but what if –"

"It's _fine_ Ben," she cooed, "don't worry. Just kiss me…"

He did. He couldn't resist her any longer if he tried - and he was done trying.

She tugged eagerly at the buttons on his shirt while his hands remained still on her waist and she smiled against his mouth and covered his hands with her own, sliding them up her body and round to her bare chest, giving him permission to do as he wished.

"Don't be such a gen'leman Ben," she purred against his mouth. "You know I ain't no lady."

--

Coming back to the present before her memories took her any further, Mrs. Lovett shook her head a little, glancing over at the man opposite her and marvelling at the fact that he was the same person in her memories.

The baker gave an unexpected yawn, and shifted in her seat as she reluctantly realised she should probably get some sleep some time soon if she was going to get up in time in the morning.

"Well anyway," she said with a heavy sigh. "Suppose I best be off to bed, sitting 'ere 'alf the night reminiscing ain't gonna do me much good when it's time to get up." Getting to her feet she picked up her glass, leaving the bottle in front of Sweeney. "Night dear." She said softly, turning to make her way from the shop.

She was just leaving the room when his quiet voice abruptly stopped her.

"You were my first, you know."

Slowly, she turned to face him, staring at him with narrowed eyes as he studied the glass in his hand. Surely she misheard. "You – you what?"

There was a pause as he twirled the glass. "You," he turned his head to lock eyes with her, "were my first."

"Your – wha – what…do you mean??"

"You know very well what I mean Mrs. Lovett."

She stared at him, her mouth open. After a few moments of shock she spoke, "you mean - you'd never –"

His eyes snapped away from her and back to his drink. "No."

"You'd never…been with a woman…before me??"

His jaw tensed. "No."

Her mouth was still open. "I was your first??" She breathed.

"_Yes,"_ he muttered, looking like he was getting irritated.

She took a few steps towards him. "But then why…why did you tell me you 'ad…?"

His eyes flicked to hers and she could tell he was definitely irritated now. "Because _you'd_ done it before - I could hardly sit there and tell you I hadn't when you were not only a girl but younger than me too!"

She blinked at him, still looking utterly shocked. "I can't believe you never told me," she finally breathed.

He sighed, shifting in his seat. "Well I'm telling you now."

Wordlessly, she moved back to her seat opposite him. Her brow furrowed as she studied the man in front of her and she swallowed. "Why did you…you …do it then??" She finally asked.

He frowned again. "I just told you why."

She cocked her head to the side. "No you didn't…?"

"Yes, I did. If I didn't I would have had to admit that it was because I'd never…" He stumbled slightly and his eyes caught hers. "I would've looked stupid."

"But – that's ridiculous!" She blurted out. "You lost yer virginity to me 'cause you didn't wanna look stupid!? I – I wouldn't 'ave thought that anyway, I would 'ave told you it was downright honourable!"

He fixed her with a look. "You would have laughed and you know it."

"Well –" She waved her hands around, floundering for something to say before giving up and dropping them back onto the table. "Great." She muttered. "Now I feel like a slut."

"Yes and you would have felt like one at the time too so aren't you glad I spared you the embarrassment?" He shot back dryly.

"Oh my God," she muttered, dropping her head into her hands. "I just – well I just assumed you were that sort of bloke…well - that you'd 'ad yer fair share of women that is – oh God -"

"Why?" He interrupted.

She looked up at him to see he was frowning at her. "Well because!" She told him, gesturing towards him. "_Look_ at you. You 'ardly repel the ladies do you?"

He frowned and shifted in his seat.

"Oh my God," she muttered again, hiding her face in her hands once more. "What must you 'ave thought of me…!?"

"I admit I was…surprised."

She was quiet a moment, her face still hidden. "Bloody 'ell," she finally groaned, her voice muffled by her hands. "I feel terrible!"

Sweeney looked over at her and cocked his head. "Terrible?"

She peered at him through her fingers. "Yes!" She said as if it were obvious. "I –…bloody 'ell…I'm sorry…"

His eyebrows shot up. "What for?" He asked, genuinely confused.

"For…for…seducing you!" She spluttered.

He raised an eyebrow and she swore his lips very nearly twitched into a smile. Instead he shook his head, and looked away from her as he took another drink.

She sighed and let her hands drop from her face, reaching for the bottle and pouring herself another glass – she needed it after finding something like that out.

"I can't believe this…" she muttered. Her eyes snapped up to his. "You'd really never –"

"No." He cut her off shortly and she shook her head, falling silent again.

"Thought you was a bit 'esitant…" she mumbled after a moment, more to herself than the man across from her. "And there was me thinking you was trying to be a gentleman…" she looked up at him, and there was suddenly laughter in her eyes and a smile on her lips. "You just didn't know what you were doing!"

Sweeney shifted awkwardly in his seat, shooting a scowl at her across the table. "Alright, alright," he muttered, knocking back a gulp of gin. "Slut."

"What!?"

"Nothing."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

It was awkwardly silent between the two for a few moments until something occurred to Mrs. Lovett and she looked up at him, fixing him with a penetrating look. "You're 'aving me on aren't you?"

He scowled at her. "No. Why would I make something like that up?" He grunted, annoyed.

Her eyes bore into him for a few more moments before she reluctantly decided that no, he wouldn't make it up; Sweeney Todd was hardly one for jesting.

The barber watched her carefully over the rim of his glass once she had looked away, down into her own drink. In all honestly he didn't know why he had shared the piece of information he just had with her, and he had a feeling he was going to regret doing so. The gin, he decided firmly, must be loosening his tongue.

She was quiet now, in deep thought it seemed – he supposed he had certainly given her something to think about – and he watched her for a few more moments until a suspiciously wicked smile crept it's way onto her lips.

"Does that mean I taught you everything you know?"

Sweeney choked a little on the sip of gin he was taking, managing to gulp it down and staring at her a moment before he scowled. "It's late Mrs. Lovett. You should go to bed." He told her bluntly.

She rolled her eyes. "Nice to know I'm welcome in me own shop."

"You would be if you kept quiet."

She gave a sigh and another roll of her eyes. "|Fine, fine, I won't talk no more.

There was another silence, one that lasted long enough for him to begin to think she actually meant what she'd said about not talking until –

"I can't believe you'd never been with a woman before me…"

Sweeney gave a hard sigh and downed another mouthful of gin. He knew he was going to regret telling her that.

* * *

_Yes, Mrs. Lovett corrupted our poor little barber! I just find the idea far too amusing XD I really hope you are all still enjoying this little story, please let me know what you think!_

_And I apologise once again for taking so long to update, and since most of you who read this read deception too I think, I'll be updating that one soon too. I've been having some problems writing lately so please bear with me, I promise I'm doing my best :)_

_Love to you all_

_X x_

_Replies to un-signed in reviews:_

_Jamie – I'm glad it's adorable lol! I must say it is fun to write something kind of sweet for once lol XD Thanks for the review love! –hugs-_

_Sammeh – Glad you like it so far love and don't worry I won't give up on it! :) Thanks for the review! –hugs-_


	5. Chapter 5

_Well lookie what I'm updating! I had no idea it had been that long since I posted a chapter of this, I just looked and saw it was September! O.o I have kept meaning to, just that I kept forgetting lol…xD Well I hope you all enjoy the fifth chapter of memories (if you're still reading that is lol!) :)_

* * *

Although Mrs. Lovett had been ready to leave a few moments ago, neither her nor the man opposite her now seemed like they were going anywhere anytime soon. The baker re-filled her own glass to the rim and reached over to do the same to Sweeney's.

Sweeney himself was silently mulling over whether to ask her the question that was burning in his mind now the subject had been brought up. After another glance at the unusually quiet woman, he decided that he'd already humiliated himself as much as he possibly could (he was still regretting admitting his secret to her and had no idea why he had done so) and he might as well find out what he hadn't been able to before.

He cleared his throat. "Who was it then?" His voice was careful, purposefully kept casual although there was a hint of burning curiosity he couldn't keep out of it. He remembered how it had killed him at the time to know – but he hadn't wanted to ask because that would most likely have meant talking about (or making up) his own previous experience.

"Who was what?" Mrs. Lovett asked, frowning at the sudden question after the brief silence.

He was avoiding her eyes. "Before me."

"…Oh." He looked up to see her flush red and it became her turn to avoid eye contact. "Nobody really…"

He raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

"You…you wouldn't know 'im."

"So who was he?"

She finally gave a hard sigh. "To tell the truth love, there were…several before you."

He raised his eyebrows.

"S'alright you can say it," she mumbled, taking another drink.

"Say what?"

"What yer thinkin'. And don't pretend you ain't," she cut him off as he opened his mouth and he quickly closed it again. "In my defence…me mum was a whore. Didn't see 'er often but when I did…well you can imagine the company I was around."

"What!? I thought – thought your mother died when you were a baby?"

She wrinkled her nose, looking down into her glass. "That's what I was to tell everyone. See…despite 'er profession, me mum 'ad loved me dad, once. She loved me too when I came along – it's why she left me with 'im and they made out 'e was me only living parent. Was better that way."

She glanced up to see Sweeney hanging onto her every word, his mouth slightly open as he realised there were more secrets that he'd ever imagined behind those dark eyes.

Mrs. Lovett looked back down into her gin, fiddling with the glass. "She lived in the whorehouse she worked at, I used to visit 'er there every now an' then from when I was little. Makes ya curious, being exposed to all that when yer so young."

Sweeney hardly dared to ask; "how old were you…when you first…?"

She briefly considered lying – surely he thought bad enough of her already…but something inside made her sigh and quietly admit the truth; "thirteen."

He was staring at her, his mouth open. She shifted in her seat. "What?" She asked quietly after a moment when he didn't stop staring.

He shook his head. "You were so young," he mumbled.

"Yeah."

After an awkward pause he spoke again. "What happened to your mother?"

The baker sighed. "When I was fifteen, she caught me with a boy…she was angry and I told 'er I didn't care, that I wanted to come and work there with 'er…she was furious. And upset…I didn't understand why at the time. Anyway she sent me back to me father's and forbid me from ever going there again, she made me da start me working properly in 'is bakery…'an that was that. I never saw 'er again and she died a year later."

The barber shook his head, looking thoughtfully into his drink as he swirled it in his glass. "I thought I knew you." He muttered. The words were not accusing, merely observant.

She shrugged. "Guess ya never really know anyone. Can't do, I suppose. 'Less ya crawl into their 'eads."

He looked up at her, catching her eyes.

"Why are you telling me all this now?" He asked.

Another shrug. "Don't really matter now do it?" She gave a small smile of amusement, holding her glass up. "Don't suppose this is 'elping much neither. Just don't go asking me to tell you any of me darkest secrets; I'd probably spill 'em." She winked at him.

"Do you have any?" He quipped with a raised eyebrow.

She held his gaze. "Wouldn't you like to know."

After a moment, he broke the gaze, looking awkward. Was it because he had felt it burning too, she wondered?

"Nah, you know 'em all now anyway." She continued to break the brief awkwardness. "Oh wait – did ya know the secret ingredient in me pies is human flesh?"

He was unable to resist giving her a small smile at that. "Sorry pet, I guessed that one a while ago."

"Damn." She smiled and took another drink. "Well there ya go. You _do_ know all me secrets."

His eyes had found hers again and he found himself shaking his head slowly. "No," he muttered quietly, "I think there's more behind those eyes…"

The gin, he decided firmly, when he gave himself a little shake and averted his gaze from her wide-eyed one, had apparently loosened his tongue as well as hers.

In fact, he realised this was probably the longest conversation he'd held with anyone in years – let alone with Mrs. Lovett. Benjamin Barker had been quite the talker, but Sweeney preferred to keep his thoughts to himself…

It was then that a sudden memory came to him, one that made him almost freeze where he sat, and his brow furrowed deeply as he re-called the curious moment…

--

The young barber rolled off his lover, sighing deeply as she gave her own little moan of satisfaction.

He lay by her side as the two fought to regain their breath, so vigorous had their lovemaking been.

It was only the fourth time they'd been together like this, but already Benjamin didn't know how he'd lived without it. She felt _so good_, she knew exactly how to give him pleasure…and she didn't ask for anything in return. Only that he gave her her own pleasure of course, something that he discovered he really wasn't too bad at.

Yes this little arrangement was perfect.

He heard Nellie give a contented sigh as she stretched a little beside him, tugging the sheets further up over her body. He realised they'd been lying next to each other in the silent afterglow for a while, the sweat cooling on their bodies and their breathing returned to normal.

"I like you when you're like this." She suddenly said.

Benjamin looked over at her, and raised an eyebrow. "Naked?"

She whacked him lightly. "Quiet."

He rolled his eyes. "Look who's talking."

She gave him another whack. "Yeah but it suits me. I've always talked a lot. You suit being quiet – I thought you was gonna be, when I fist met you ya know. Didn't think you looked like much of a talker."

He was silent a moment before he spoke. "You come out with some funny things Nellie. You're a strange girl, anyone ever told you that?"

"Not as strange as me aunt Nettie. Now she's a weird one I tell ya. Used to sit on 'er roof for hours 'cause she thought the seagulls liked 'er watching over 'em up there. Bloomin' cookoo she is."

Benjamin snorted.

"No I mean it though…" she continued, her voice changing as she got a thoughtful expression on her face. "There's more to you in there, I can tell. I thought you was gonna be one of 'em quiet brooding types when you first walked into me shop. I remember watching you glance round and I thought…I thought you looked like…like the kinda man who could kill, if it suited 'im. You looked dangerous…" He watched her strangely as she shivered a little – then seemed to snap out of her trance and her eyes slid over to his as she grinned. "Then you opened yer mouth an' I realised what a fool you really were."

She shrieked with laughter when his hand shot out and tickled her in the side and he laughed as she grasped desperately at his wrist.

"I'll give you dangerous you daft little girl," he teased her as he pinned her beneath him, tickling her mercilessly until their game changed into something different, their laughter descending into moans.

--

"You knew me." Sweeney suddenly stated.

Mrs. Lovett jumped a little at the sudden words, and at the surprise in his voice. "Beg pardon?"

"When I was Benjamin," he was staring at her intensely with an expression of utter shock on his face. "You knew I was inside…before even I did…"

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Mr. T…what are you on about love??"

"You told me," he told her, his voice so serious it made her eyes widen, "that you thought I looked like…like somebody who could kill when you first met me…" His eyes searched hers. "How did you know me?? I didn't even exist then…"

Her lips parted in understanding. She did remember those thoughts. She would never forget the first time she saw him, the way it made her heart lurch in her chest and breath catch in her throat. He was so beautiful. And she had to admit she had expected an entirely different man behind that face at first, although she didn't remember telling him this.

Now he mentioned it however, she realised something she hadn't done before; she'd been right. She had _known_ Sweeney Todd was under there all along.

She swallowed. "I don't know." She whispered.

She did know. She'd known him because she'd loved him from that moment, the moment she saw him behind those dark eyes. And she hadn't even realised it until this one.

* * *

_Sorry about the fluffiness of their memories, I figure they deserved some at some point in their life lol xD And for some reason I just see little Nellie and little Benjamin being incredibly cute together! ^_^ _

_Pretty please let me know what you thought about this chap and I really will try to update this one a bit more regularly :)_

_(Oh and for those who read, next Deception chapter will be up tonight :))_

_X x_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello hello, thought it was about time this one had an update lol! Hope you are all still with me, and I hope you enjoy the sixth chapter!_

* * *

Standing on the threshold between her shop and her living quarters, Benjamin knocked on the open door. "Mrs. Lovett?" He called out.

"Just a minute!" Came a voice from inside. "Come in!"

He walked into her parlour, a room he had visited many times before, although not so frequently now.

He heard footsteps round the corner and then her voice in greeting. "Mr. B!"

He looked up at her and his eyes immediately widened when he saw her attire – of lack of – and he looked away, flushing red.

His landlady was dripping wet, hair loose over he shoulders, and clad in nothing but a white towel. A white towel that was wrapped round her chest and barely reached past her knees, putting far, _far_ too much of her wet naked body on display for him.

"M – Mrs. Lovett…I appear to have come at a bad time, I'm sorry, I'll call back later…" He turned hastily to go.

"What? No don't be daft love, you just came to drop the rent by right? Might as well sort it since you're 'ere! Lemme just find Albert's book…"

"I think perhaps – I should wait until you find some clothes, Mrs. Lovett." He said very pointedly.

She paused, and turned to him looking genuinely surprised – and then like she might start laughing. "Oh come now Mr. B - it's nothing you ain't seen before." She winked at him, and resumed her search for the rent book.

"_Mrs. Lovett_." He said firmly when he'd regained his speech. "Please do not make me remind you that we are both married, and this is highly inappropriate. If you're not going to go and put some clothes on this instant I think I should come back at a more suitable time."

She stared at him, her mouth open. "I – I'm sorry Mr. B…I didn't think you'd mind, I…" She faltered, suddenly looking extremely embarrassed. "I - I don't know what I was thinking, I'm sorry," she said quickly, averting her eyes and turning to scoot from the room.

"Wait –" He found himself stopping her before she could leave the room, feeling suddenly guilty for belittling her in such a way. When she looked at him he sighed, dropping his eyes and shaking his head. "Don't worry, I overreacted. It's fine."

"No, you're right – it ain't appropriate. I'm sorry, I'll dress. I won't be a minute."

"No – it's fine, really. This will only take a moment anyway – here." He held out an envelope to her and after a pause she smiled at him, and crossed the room to take it from him.

"Thanks love." Moving over to the dark wood cabinet she pulled a tattered book out of a drawer and opened it, flicking through the pages until she found the right one. She scribbled something then held the pen out to him. "I…really am sorry Mr. B." She mumbled awkwardly. "I'm not sure why I thought this would be okay…"

"No," he said as he signed his name. "You're right it doesn't matter." He turned to her, handing her back the pen and catching her eyes with a grin to repeat her words; "I've seen it all before."

She returned his grin but looked down. "I'm sorry though. Won't 'appen again, I promise."

He waved her off. "Don't worry about it." He grinned at her then added, "knowing you I suppose I should be grateful you at least have a towel on."

Her mouth opened in an offended gasp, although she laughed. "You cheeky sod!"

"Well I wouldn't put anything past you. If you remember you did, in fact, let me in when you were stark naked once."

"Ah, but you liked it then."

"I like it now."

Her eyebrows shot up and Benjamin went immediately red, unable to believe what he had just let slip out.

"I - I mean…I would do - if I weren't married. If _you_ weren't married. But since we both are I -"

She laughed. "It's alright pet, there ain't nothing wrong with looking."

His eyes widened. "I'm not!"

She couldn't resist raising an eyebrow and giving him a teasing smirk. "Oh really?" Her hand took hold of one side of the top of her towel and she made to slowly tug it down -

"_Mrs. Lovett!"_ Benjamin quickly grabbed her wrist before she could go any further. "What do you think you're doing!?" He tried to scold her although his laughter made it a little ineffective.

She cackled loudly, swatting his hand away and tugging her towel firmly back into place. "Oh keep yer bloomers on love I'm only messin' with ya!"

He shook his head. "There's no hope for you."

She grinned. "Sorry."

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "How are you anyway? It's been a while since we spoke properly…"

She shrugged. "Yeah well, since both of us's married now like you said, it's kinda difficult yeah?"

"I suppose..."

"I'm alright. Business could be better but I'm doing alright. And 'ows yerself? Still enjoying married life?"

He smiled, his face genuinely lighting up. "Yes. It's wonderful. Everything is…wonderful."

She forced a smile, and looked down, nodding. "Good, I'm 'appy for you."

"And you?"

"Me?"

"And Mr. Lovett - you're happy together?"

A smirk came to her lips that under her intention he misinterpreted for the smile of a content wife. "Oh yeah. Couldn't be 'appier."

He nodded, smiling back. "I'm glad."

"You know - we should all get together some time. You and Mrs. Barker should join me an' 'imself for dinner one evening."

"Yes, that would be lovely." He gave her a teasing grin. "As long as you find a more suitable attire for the occasion."

She returned his grin, and opened her mouth to reply when –

"Benjamin!?"

Both tenant and landlady whirled round to see the small blonde woman stood wide eyed and open mouthed in the doorway.

"Lucy –" He hurried to her.

"What's going on?" She breathed, her voice high.

Mrs. Lovett cleared her throat, snapping the book shut and taking it over to the cupboard. "I best go change – nice to see you Lucy dear, thanks for the rent Mr. Barker!" She hurried off round the corner, leaving Benjamin with a rather distressed wife.

--

"You caused me a week of trouble you know." Sweeney suddenly said, making Mrs. Lovett look up at him quizzically.

"Excuse me?"

"That time Lucy walked into the room and you and I were talking," he looked up at her, fixing her with a pointed look. "You were in a towel."

After a few seconds a small smile came to her lips as the baker recalled the memory. "Sorry about that."

"Never had much in the way of a sense of propriety did you?" His eyes were narrowed but his tone was light.

She smiled, looking down. "Guess not." Then after a moment, she looked back up at him, an eyebrow raised. "A week of trouble?"

"Hmm. She was convinced that I was the cause for your lack of clothes – even though I'd only been down there for a few minutes."

She snorted. "And I was wet."

A brief stiff pause ensued and Mrs. Lovett's eyes widened. "I – I mean – my hair was wet and everything – since I'd just bathed…"

Sweeney cleared his throat. "Of course."

Mrs. Lovett bit her lip, smiling again. "Poor little Lucy. I imagine it gave her quite the start."

A very small smile touched Sweeney's lips. A wistful one – a sad one. Mrs. Lovett's heart gave a twinge of pain for him. "Yes." He replied, "it did."

"Mr. T?" She asked after a pause. He glanced up at her, a signal for her to continue. "Did you ever tell Lucy about…?"

"Me and you?"

She nodded and he shook his head. "No, I didn't. I told her I'd…been with women in the past but I didn't name names and she didn't ask."

"Would you 'ave? If she did ask?"

He thought for a moment before shaking his head. "Probably not."

She gave a sad smile, lifting her glass to her lips. "That ashamed of it huh?"

The barber looked genuinely surprised. "I wasn't ashamed of it - not at all. It just…would have been awkward, with you living above and being our landlady and all…"

She nodded. "Yeah. Suppose it would 'ave." She bit her lip again a moment. "You don't…regret it then?" She dared to ask cautiously.

"Regret what?"

"Me and you."

The barber shifted in his seat, looking suddenly uncomfortable. "No I don't regret it." He answered after a long moment, and because of the pause Mrs. Lovett suspected he might be lying until he continued. "It was foolish of us yes, but we were young. We…" He was staring at the glass he held up in front of him with his elbow on the table, his eyes far away. "…had some good times. Some good memories."

"Yes," she agreed softly.

"Do you?" He asked after a moment, looking up at her.

"Do I what?"

"Regret it?"

She almost gaped at him, wanted to ask him how on earth he could ask her such a thing when those were the happiest memories of her life. Of course, he wouldn't know that.

Instead she simply shook her head. "No, I don't. Not a minute of it." She dared to look up and catch his eyes shyly. "I wouldn't change it for the world, love."

* * *

_Well there we are :) I do enjoy writing about these two in their younger years! ^_^_

_Anyway. Apologies for the major failage on the updating front. I've been very busy and stressed with things, so finding it hard to concentrate on my stories. I'll hopefully get myself sorted soon, then I'll be back to updating regularly best I can :)_

_Please leave me a review to let me know what you think. I live for them xD_

_Lots of love!_

_X x x_


	7. Chapter 7

_Well hello again! I have an Easter present for you all in the form of a new chapter lol! So I hope you enjoy and happy Easter!! _

* * *

Sweeney stared at his landlady, a little surprise at the amount of sincerity and feeling behind her words. He knew she was and always had been fond of him, and he knew she'd enjoyed their time together when they were younger, but there seemed to be something else in her words and her face in that moment…something more.

He cleared his throat, reaching for his glass. "Come now Mrs. Lovett. We're both too old for flattery."

A smile touched her lips. "I ain't being polite love, s'the truth." She looked up and held his gaze. "I wouldn't change them days." _I'd do anything to get them back. _

The weary baker suppressed a sigh. Of course, he had a happy marriage to a beautiful woman he loved to look back on fondly - short-lived though it may have been, he'd had it. She'd had _Albert. _Even without knowing of her feelings for himself, was it really that surprising to him that she looked back so fondly on the days before her marriage?

_How could he ask me if I regret it? _She thought incredulously to herself. Was he really _that _oblivious!?

She had only one regret regarding those days, and that was encouraging him with Lucy, and consequently brining about the end to the wonderful affair with the man she came to love. She could still remember that day, the day it ended, as vivid as it were yesterday. Of course she'd replayed it over and over in her head a million times since it had happened, wishing that she hadn't let it - although she knew by that point there was no choice in the matter left for her anyway.

--

"Miss Jones."

The baker turned to look at him, eyebrows raised at the choice of name. "Yes, _Mr. Barker?_" She asked, stressing the name with a hint of a jesting smirk on her lips.

"How are you?" He asked quickly. She knew him well enough to know that wondering about her wellbeing wasn't the reason he'd come into her shop today.

"I'm just fine. And you?"

"Yes - yes fine…um…" He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

Nellie put down the rolling pin she'd been working with to place her hands on her hips. "Alright out with it then."

He cleared his throat, looking down from her eyes. "Well. You know…that I've been courting Lucy for some time now…"

"Yes I know that dear -" She gasped suddenly, catching on quickly for she had been fearing this day for months. Her eyes widened as she held a hand to her chest. "You asked 'er to marry you ain't ya?"

He looked up in surprise. "Y – yes, yes I have…" His brow furrowed. "How did you guess?"

"Oh -" she tried to keep her voice level. "I knew you would soon enough, it was only a matter of time dear!" She felt her insides protest against the smile she pasted onto her face. It was then she realised that he wasn't smiling - that in fact he looked a little…_uncomfortable_ - and the smile vanished quickly as something occurred to her - and she dared to hope - "She - she said yes didn't she?"

_There_. There the smile was - although it was only brief - but it was enough to make her hope sink. "Yes. She did."

Her own smile was forced back onto her face and she reached across the counter to place her hand on his. "Congratulations then love. But you should be jumping for joy! Why don't you come over tonight, I'm sure there's a fine bottle o' whiskey in the cupboard somewhere for an occasion just like this - we'll 'ave a drink to celebrate!" She babbled, talking faster than usual to disguise her heartache.

"Well…" He fidgeted and looked awkward. "That's what I wanted to speak with you about, I…we can't do this anymore."

She blinked at him a moment before the penny dropped, and she felt another pang in her chest.

"Do what love?" She asked, although she knew full well what he meant she couldn't quite figure out how to react to it just yet without giving away her feelings.

"_This_. Us."

She furrowed her brow in confusion. "Talk?"

"Not _talk_, Nellie. We can't…us. It can't happen anymore."

As upset as she was, she couldn't help a little amusement find it's way into her at Benjamin's awkwardness. She shook her head in feigned confusion. It had always been too much fun teasing him. "What can't 'appen?"

"Me and you."

She blinked. "We can't be friends?"

"_No_. Of course we can be friends, I'm talking about –" he dropped his voice from the frantic tone he'd adopted to murmur his next words lowly. "What we _do."_

"Ben you're gonna 'ave to be a bit more specific than that love, I can't read yer mind."

He gave a sigh of frustration, closing his eyes for a second and she had to stop herself from bursting into laughter. Finally he opened them to lean closer to her and drop his voice, "we can't _have sex_ anymore."

She did burst out laughing then, the awkwardness with which he said the words was just too amusing. He frowned at her. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing dear, nothing," she hushed him, still grinning. A pout suddenly took it's place. "And anyway why not? You ain't married yet are ya?"

"No but – I'm due to be. I'm _engaged_ Nellie I can't…be with you anymore."

She stared at him with an expression of shocked hurt on her face, "You don't want me anymore?"

"_Nellie!" _He muttered lowly, leaning into her slightly to make sure nobody else eating in the bakery could catch their conversation. "It's not right - as much as I want you, it's not fair on Lucy, I'm going to marry her don't you understand that we just _can't -"_

She waved him off laughing. "It's alright I understand love, I'm only teasing ya. Of course I understand. No more just…one last night?"

"Nellie…"

"Please love. Me dad's out tonight, you can stay over. Please…one last night before you're a tied down man?"

"Nel, we shouldn't…"

"Oh come on," she pouted and dropped her voice. "I'll make it good for ya…"

He looked hard at her, and sighed. "One last night?"

Her face broke into a grin. "Just one."

"Alright. Then it's over!"

"Over and done with!"

One corner of his mouth twitched into a smile. "I'll see you tonight then."

She shot him a wink. "Looking forward to it."

Nellie cried that night. She tried to keep control of her emotions, but as she lay beneath him feeling as if she were just where she belonged in the world and knowing it was the last time she would ever have that feeling, she couldn't stop her eyes filling with tears. She'd turned her head and tried to hold them back but the tears had slipped down her cheeks and he'd seen.

When he asked what was wrong, his voice filled with shock, she'd had to stammer out something about her father hurting her again, and then he'd stopped when they were doing, leant down and wrapped his arms tightly round her, and it had been even worse.

"_I'll always be here for you Nel," _He'd murmured to her quietly, which had only made her cry harder because she knew he wouldn't be. He _couldn't _be, not when he was married, not when he would never know that _she_ wanted to be his wife more than anything in the world.

--

"What's wrong?"

Mrs. Lovett's head snapped up at Sweeney's voice, surprised that he had even spoken, let alone noticed that she was looking upset (clearly the memory was painful even now.)

Flustered, she fussed with her curls, avoiding his dark eyes. "Nothing's wrong dear - I was just…lost in thought…" She cleared her throat, motioning to her glass and trying for a small smile. "Think the gin's getting to me." She sighed and rested her chin on her palm, looking with unfocused eyes into the glass in front of her.

"The past is an easy place to get lost in." Sweeney replied, his voice quiet, thoughtful…human. He was empathising with her.

She felt a small thrill at this, and thoughts Mrs. Lovett would probably have kept to herself with a slightly more sober head found their way from her lips. "We could 'ave been together you know," she told him softly. "Back then. There was a time…if you'd 'ave asked me I would 'ave said yes."

His brow furrowed. "Asked you?"

Her eyes flicked up to his. "To marry you." She laughed bitterly at his shocked expression. "Yes, it were like that…not at first but after a while…" she looked down, shaking her head.

After staring at her in stunned silence for a few moments he finally uttered quietly; "I had no idea…"

Still looking down, she smiled sadly. "I know you didn't. Don't…"

"What?""Nothing," she sighed quietly, then after a moment bit her lip, and looked up at him curiously from under her lashes. When he caught her stare his brow furrowed.

After a moment she hastily cleared her throat and got to her feet, forcing herself to push the glass away and say goodnight to him before she spilled something she would regret. "Well, night then Mr. T."

"Mrs. Lovett." He stopped her before she could reach the door.

"Y - yes love?"

He didn't turn to face her, but sat in thoughtful silence for a few more seconds. "Come here."

Swallowing, and wondering what on earth it was that he could want, the baker walked slowly back across the room to stand before the table. "What is it Mr. Todd?"

He looked up and his dark eyes found hers. "It…meant more to you, didn't it?" He asked slowly. "Me and you, back then?"

She knew she should lie and tell him of course not, it was what it was…but with his eyes locked to hers she found she couldn't. Instead she mutely nodded her head.

"I'm…sorry," she whispered quietly. "It was foolish of me, I knew that, but…I was young…" she tried to excuse herself, "I mean - we were pretty close for a while back then…just got a little too fond of ya I s'pose…"Sweeney shook his head as she trailed off awkwardly. "Don't apologise," he muttered.

She slid down into her seat once more as Sweeney slipped into thought and sat quietly for a while.

So she had wanted to marry him…this was indeed surprising to the barber. After all, she'd been the one to begin the whole thing, making plain they would never be more than friends. He wondered when things had changed. It couldn't have been that far from the end, for why would she have encouraged him with Lucy if she'd wanted to be with him herself?

He glanced up briefly to see her looking down quietly at the table as she fiddled absently with her lace gloves. What would she say, if she were to know that he had thought about asking for her hand for a little while back then? Not because he had found himself in love with her or anything of the sort, and he'd never _seriously_ considered it, no. It had been before he'd begun courting his Lucy, when he had simply seen her from afar but hadn't the courage to do more than admire her. He had worked himself up into thinking he should just give up the ridiculous notion of being with a girl as perfect and angel-like as her, for they were silly boyish fantasies and could never be more.

What would he do if he could never have Lucy for himself? Well, he'd decided he _should _do the sensible, practical thing and marry Nellie. He cared for her, they got on well and he knew she would make a good wife. He knew it would be the right thing to do, really, for what they _were_ doing was not.

But then, of course Nellie had badgered and encouraged him in his fancies for Lucy, and once he became swept up in his fairytale romance with the beautiful blonde he forgot all about the fleeting thoughts of marrying the baker.

Not that he forgot all about _her_ though, far from it. In fact it wasn't until he actually asked for Lucy's hand did he force himself to stop his liaisons with the vivacious redhead - and that, in fact, had been a little harder to do than he would like to admit. But then, he had always found himself pretty much useless at resisting her ever since that first time.

He remembered how he'd felt twinges of guilt after that first night, and told himself it was wrong and sinful that he had done such a thing outside of wedlock with a woman he didn't love - and he had tried to keep his hands off her, really he had done but…she was just so damn _delectable…_and the things she knew! The things she taught him…really, he'd ended up telling himself, it was his duty to learn these things in order to pleasure his future wife; it was only right he took it upon himself to do so.

The reasoning had sounded ridiculous even in his head, but that hadn't stopped him.

Sweeney found himself glancing up again and watching the very woman his thoughts were on now. Yes…he could still see it - what he'd seen in her all those years ago. It wasn't something he'd noticed since he'd been back from prison, so occupied had his mind been with other things but yes, she was still beautiful. Older and wearier looking - but he could see the girl he'd been so fond of back then was still in there somewhere.

He studied her quietly for several moments until he shook himself a little when he realised she was looking right back at him, her head cocked to the side. "What?" She asked curiously.

"What?"

"You're smiling. What ya thinking about?"

He frowned deeply, "nothing," and cleared his throat, reaching for the bottle. "More gin?"

Mrs. Lovett sighed and held out her glass. "Why not love?" She replied somewhat heavily. "Why not."

* * *

_Well there we are, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! :)_

_I am in need of opinions for this story! Do you want to see it end up as a Sweenett or not? I'm not going to raise the rating, but do you think they should end up together or for it to remain unrequited, sort of so it could fit into the movie timeline somewhere? Because I'm thinking its going to be about ten chapters but I have a few different ideas to finish it off with and I'm really not sure which way to take it! So thoughts and opinions would be very much appreciated loves! :)_

_Easter hugs to you all!_

_X x_


	8. Chapter 8

_Well hiiii :) I still exist! Lol. Enjoy the chapter sweeties! _

* * *

Mrs. Lovett knew that she had let far too much slip out tonight. She had divulged things to her Mr. Todd that she never would have dreamt of sharing with a clear head, and probably would regret doing so in the morning. At least she hadn't confessed her undying love to him yet - although she hadn't been far from it. In fact, she had told him in so many words that she held more affection for him than he had been aware of back before they were both married - she hadn't said that she didn't still have those feelings, it was just something she knew he assumed.

It was the gin they had both consumed, that was making her - and him - share such things that night, but she knew it wasn't just that. Since they had began talking, things were different between them - different in the way that they felt almost the same as they used to be. And as Mrs. Lovett studied her partner-in-crime across the table in that dark corner of her pie shop she realised something - that if she was ever going to have this man for herself again - even if it was just for one night - that it was going to be tonight or never. Tonight...he was almost himself again. Their relationship felt closer to how it had once been all those years ago tonight than it had for a very long time. Tonight, he was opening up to her, relaxing in her presence and letting her in - just a little bit. But in comparison to his usual cold and guarded self, this meant a hell of a lot to the love-sick baker.

Tonight, having him didn't seem as impossible as it usually did. It didn't seem impossible at all.

"Who knew," Mrs. Lovett spoke quietly, "that things would ever turn out like this, ey?"

From across the table, Sweeney looked up at her, frowned, then looked back down at his drink. "We never know how anything will ever turn out Mrs. Lovett."

"Yeah." She agreed, "that's true..." Tentatively, she glanced up at him from under her lashes. "Wouldn't it be nice to 'ave one of them days back...just one - back when it were just me an' you, an' we 'ad no worries...no cares..."

The barber appeared to be in deep thought for several moments, and she supposed the fact that he was actually pondering her question was a good thing. "Yes," he finally spoke slowly to her surprise. "Yes, it would. But what good does it do to long for days past, Mrs. Lovett?"

She nearly scoffed at the irony of his question, and as she gaped at him, it was apparent that he himself had realised after he had spoken the words how ridiculous they sounded coming from him. He looked slightly sheepish and shifted in his chair, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

She let it slide, opting not to comment on this - she had more important things on her agenda now.

"Well. When you think about it...is there any reason we _can't _'ave one of them days back?" She spoke carefully.

She watched his brow furrow in confusion and there was a short silence. Finally he looked up to regard her closely. "What do you mean?"

"What I _mean_ is that..." her big dark eyes flicked downwards, to follow her finger as it traced the rim of her glass. "That me an' you could...well that - that there ain't any real reason that…things couldn't be like they once were...again." She paused and her eyes flicked back up to his to see his reaction. He was silent for several moments. "What do you say love?" She prompted softly.

Staring at her, something akin to disbelief on his face, he finally spoke. "Do you really, honestly think it could be anything like it once was between us Mrs. Lovett?" He shook his head, a deep frown on his face. "I'm not that man anymore."

She looked at him carefully. "I'm not that girl anymore either Mr. Todd." She looked down, her finger circling her glass rim again. "All we got is each other now…might as well enjoy what we 'ave…"

He peered at her. "And by enjoy you mean…?"

She looked up, locked eyes with him, and raised an eyebrow. His quickly averted his eyes from hers, looking down to his glass as he frowned slightly. The baker let out a soft chuckle. "Ah love. Still as shy as ever eh?"

He lifted his eyes to glare at her across the table. "Just because we haven't all slept with half of London."

She gasped at the insult, but it was quickly apparent by the raised eyebrow, that he was teasing her. "That was below the belt Mr. T," she complained, but there was a small smile on her lips at the fact that he was jesting with her. He didn't reply, only took another sip of his gin. After several moments, Mrs. Lovett cleared her throat. "So..." She gave a cautious smile, her tone low and soft. "Fancy taking a trip down memory lane?"

Sweeney regarded the woman opposite him carefully. Yes, woman, she was very much a woman now, not the girl he used to know at all. And yet, she was. What she was offering was...very tempting...but he had already betrayed Lucy once for her - he couldn't sully the memory of her by doing the same again.

But then...Lucy was gone. And Mrs. Lovett - _Nellie - _his Nellie, as she had been, was here...here as she had been before Lucy, before any of this happened, back when things were so simple so did it even matter about everything that had happened between if they were to go back to then? And the fact was that his head was beginning to become so clouded with gin and whatever strange spell she seemed to have weaved on him that night that he couldn't find it in him to care all that much either way - because nothing was here anymore but her.

After several moments she clearly took his silent stare as something akin to agreement, because she rose from her seat, moved round the little table to his side and slipped into the booth beside him, squeezing herself snugly between him and the armrest.

"Mr. T," she breathed, as she lifted a shaky hand to cup his cheek.

Her hand was soft and warm. Sweeney swallowed hard, and found himself leaning towards her, something that felt so natural to do even after all these years. It wouldn't be like they were changing their relationship – they'd slept together in the past and it hadn't meant anything more than the two of them finding pleasure together…and he knew it would be good with her – it always had been. _She_ always had been…and it had been so long…so _damn_ long…

"Nellie," he muttered, his mouth so close to hers that she felt his hot breath on her lips as he spoke. The name spilled as easily from his lips as if he'd never abandoned it's use.

She was breathing heavily, her eyes flickering back and forth between his own and his lips. "Love," she uttered, before his mouth covered her own and cut off anything else she was going to say. Mrs. Lovett's heart raced as the barber kissed her, their mouths moving so gently, so softly against each other, almost as if this were that first, hesitant kiss they had shared all those years ago.

And then all of a sudden Sweeney was clasping her face, his fingers curling into her hair, his mouth pressing hard against her own, drinking in the gasp as she clutched back at him and he kissed her hungrily, passionately, desperately.

Minutes later they were in her bedroom, he was laying her back on her bed and her heart was pounding viciously in her chest.

Sweeney leant over the small woman he had once known so well, sliding his hands underneath her arched back to rip open the laces of her dress, his hands shaking and urgent as her own slid one round his back and one into his hair. "I've missed you Ben," she whispered in his ear, and he let her – because he'd missed her too.

-x-

Whistling a tune, Benjamin Barker crossed over Fleet Street and strolled down the little alleyway beside the bakery on the corner that led to the front door of the adjoining house. Swapping the bottle of gin into his other hand, the barber knocked three times on the door. He waited. And waited. He knocked again. "Nellie?" He called through the door.

"Who is it?" finally came her muffled voice from inside.

"It's me. Ben."

"Uhm…just a minute!" She called out.

Benjamin waited a few more minutes until the door finally opened just enough for them to see each other. He smiled and waved the bottle at her. "Feel like some company?"

She smiled distractedly. "This ain't really a good time, I'm sorry love…"

The smile fell from his face. "Your father's home? Well come out we'll -"

"No Ben 'e's not I just - I'm a little busy right now…stop by tomorrow?"

"Busy? With what? Look can I just -"

"Nellie?" Came a deep a voice from inside.

Benjamin frowned. "I thought you said your father's not home?"

"He's not, I - just a minute!" She called back to the inside before turning back to her friend. "Ben -"

"Then who's that?"

She sighed. "It's John White, and we're…sort of in the middle of something so can we catch up tomorrow?"

Benjamin stared at her, a frown on his face. His eyes quickly flicked over what he could see of her through the gap in the door and found that she was wrapped in a gown, arms folded across her front to keep it closed. He couldn't prevent his eyebrows shooting up. "In the middle of _that?"_

"Ben -"

"You're _sleeping_ with John White?"

"_Yes,"_ she said, exasperated, slipping outside to pull the door behind her, wrapping her arms tighter round her. "Blimey love subtlety was never your thing was it?"

"John White!" He repeated.

She nodded.

He turned from her to pace a little. "I thought you didn't _like _him," he hissed.

"Well - I don't, really," she said, laughing a little. "But the poor bloke bought me flowers - an' dinner…there's no 'arm in exploring me options now is there?"

"You mean you're gonna let him court you?" He didn't know why this inspired fury inside and why his voice came out practically a growl.

She shrugged, wrinkling her nose. "Well no, probably not. I dunno." She looked up at him, cocking her head. "Why?"

He shrugged, his back turned to her.

"Look love I've gotta get back inside, I'm sorry but come round tomorrow yeah?"

"Fine," he muttered.

"I'll see you later." He felt her small hand on his arm but he couldn't turn and face her, instead found himself shrugging it off and muttering, "enjoy yourself," before he stalked away.

"Oi!" He heard her call after him. "What's up wi' you you miserable sod!" But he didn't answer her, he couldn't when he suddenly had the urge to shake her, to shout at her, to…

Benjamin forced himself to take a deep breath, running a hand through his hair as he walked down the street. Why did he feel so angry? So angry with her? She was his friend he wanted her to be happy. He hadn't felt like this when she'd told him about John White buying her flowers the other day.

It was just…weird actually finding her with another man, that was all. He supposed she had been with other men besides him before, it was just strange to witness it. She was _his_ friend. She was _his…_ no, she was his nothing. She was herself - he had no right to think of her in that way when the only woman he wanted to be his anything was Lucy. Nellie had every right to see other men, to let them court her, to sleep with them.

Then why did he have such a strange feeling in his stomach?

-x-

Sweeney Todd was lying on his back, his eyes closed although he was awake. A single candle burned in Mrs. Lovett's bedroom, and Mrs. Lovett herself lay on her side next to him, her head propped up on one hand as the other absently traced feather light patterns over Sweeney's bare chest.

"I'm sorry," the barber murmured lowly without opening his eyes.

A puzzled frown appeared across her pretty face and her hand stilled. "What?"His dark eyes opened to catch hers and he looked away after a couple of seconds, sighing and moving to sit up in the bed and face away from her. He ran a hand through his hair. "It's been a long time. I didn't mean to be so rough."

_Oh._ Once realisation had sunk in a small smile appeared on Mrs. Lovett's flushed face and she sat up too, sliding her arms round him and dropping a kiss onto his bare shoulder. "I already told you…I'm not that young girl anymore Mr. Todd, you got nothing to apologise for." She lightly pushed him to lie back down and she draped herself half over him. "An' anyway even if I were…" She smirked a little, biting her lip. "She would 'ave liked it too."

Sweeney's eyebrows raised in surprise as he looked back at her. "I didn't hurt you?"

"Well…" She wrinkled her nose slightly. "I didn't say that. Just that I didn't mind."

She smiled at his expression and with a contented sigh, lay her head down on his chest.

After several moments of silence - once, she assumed, Sweeney had got over his surprise, his leathery voice sounded in the quiet room. "Do you remember John White?"

A frown appeared across Mrs. Lovett's face and she opened her dark eyes. "Hmm?"

"John White?"

She lifted her head from his chest to look down at him, puzzlement on her face. "No…should I?"

"You don't remember who he was?"

"The name rings a bell…but I couldn't put a face to it. Why? 'Oo was 'e?"

There was a pause before; "Nobody. Forget it."

"No, Mr. T," Mrs. Lovett protested, leaning up more on her elbows. "Tell me who 'e was?"

The barber sighed. "He was no-one Mrs. Lovett, it doesn't matter."

"Then…why'd you bring 'im up for?"

He was silent.

"Mr. Todd? What is it?"

"Nothing." He muttered. "I've just…understood something I didn't a long time ago." He cleared his throat, moving to sit up. "It doesn't matter. Get some sleep."

"Where you going?" She asked quickly, sitting up too as he began tugging his trousers on.

"Just back to the shop, I need another drink. I'll be back in a moment." He told her quietly as he threw his shirt on. "Sleep."

Indeed feeling sleepy, Mrs. Lovett finally nodded, laying back down as she watched her barber slip out of her room and heard the quiet click of the door behind him.

* * *

_Ok so I -am- going to try and finish this story - and continue Deception! I haven't given up on either and I will do my best to keep writing because I know there are a lot of you who read them and I really hope you're still here lol! I am sorry about making you all wait so long, life's just been keeping me very very busy. I'm also really sorry if I haven't replied to reviews from the last chapter, I promise I will do my best to reply to everyone this time :)_

_Also I've noticed the doubled dashes I used to have separating the present from the memories have all disappeared - hence why I've put -x- in this chapter. I think it looked better with dashes but eh apparently you can't have them on their own anymore so I will go back through and alter the previous chapters to have -x- as well, because at the moment it seems like it's all one thing and doesn't make sense!_

_Please please let me know what you think of the chapter, I've sort of roughly decided on how to end this but am still open to opinions! Hope everyone is keeping ok and hopefully it won't be too long before the next update!_

_Take care lovlies! X x_


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